Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
