I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
