I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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