it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
