Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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