i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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