My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize