Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
