i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize