He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
