I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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