Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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