so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
