3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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