Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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