I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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