I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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