She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize