i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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