I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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