I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
