I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
