We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
