I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
