we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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