So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
