your room smells of hookers.
And success
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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