It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
