we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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