Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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