You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize