she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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