she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
