hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
