my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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