so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
