I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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