Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
