i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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