Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He passed out mid-signature
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
