that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he puts the penis in happiness.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
