There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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