You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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