Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
