Screwed.edu
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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