I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
