If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
