Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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