I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
