can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
