there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i will never coherently bang her
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
