just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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