Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
