He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
