think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
