She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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