I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
