I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
