im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
