If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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