North Korea, Best Korea!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
