Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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