hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
