you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
