Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
bring money and cleavage
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
