Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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