We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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